A Christmas Wish

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care. Our Elf on a Shelf, Thomas, has been floating around the whole week. One bare spot remains in our house, a gaping empty corner where the Christmas tree should be. 


We promised our boys that we would wait for them to decorate the tree. Now, as the days pass too slowly, we still do not have a date for their arrival. The Christmas spirit seems to be on hold for us. I have not yet sent Christmas cards, I do not know what they should say. "Hooray! They're Here!!" or "A Happy New Year from our New Family". I hate the feeling that our lives are on hold, and I clean when I am upset or nervous. My entire house has been scoured and scrubbed. Endless bags of trash have been hauled out of things we are never going to use and should not have kept this long.


I think that Ethan is a bit relieved that the date was moved back. It has given him more time to prepare for the change. I worry about Andru. He will be 9 next week, and it crushing to both of us to think that he will not be with us to celebrate. He has been acting up in school, and when he is able to talk to me, he just questions over and over why he is not here. "Mommy, I would be there except for the papers, right? You signed it, though, right?" His questions are heartbreaking; its as if he is asking if we still want him. If he only knew how badly. 


Gabbi does not understand the delay. In anticipation of Santa's arrival, people keep asking her, "Who's coming soon?" Her answer usually surprises them: "Big brothers!!!" She is so ready...we all are.


As of last night, both contracts have arrived at our agency in Buffalo. With what seems like hundreds of signatures and reviews ahead, I do not know how long we still have to wait. But wait we will, with only one Christmas wish to offer. I want my family gathered around our glittering tree on Christmas Eve. That's all I want for Christmas. Here's to the hope that fills this wondrous season....