A Sibling Kind of Thing

Many people have asked us about our decision to adopt a sibling group instead of a single child. We've been asked what "kind of child" we will be getting. Foster adoption is not like placing an order at your local diner---or it shouldn't be, anyway. The less restrictions you place on what "type" of child you are willing to take, the easier it will be to place children with you.


When Brian and I sat down to hash all of that out, we discovered that we were willing to be very open-ended about the children that came into our home. Race: not an issue. Gender: only an issue when adhering to federal guidelines about space. Age: We want to stay with children under 10 or 11, because of our age and Gabbi's. We do not intend for this to be our only foray into foster-adoption, and that age limitation will raise as our own age does. As far as "issues" go, we know that we are capable of handling a lot of things, with the right amount of support. Here's the wonderful thing about foster-adoption---there are so many amazing supports out there to allow the kids to reach their full potential, and the caseworkers and agencies do everything they can to ensure the kids are getting exactly the supports they need, which makes it easier on both children and adoptive parents. There are a few behaviors we immediately ruled out, keeping our daughter's safety in mind: children with a history of fire-setting, physical aggression towards other children, or sexually acting out would not be a good fit for our home. Often, children with those behaviors are placed in homes without any other children, so as to minimize risk to the family. So, we came down to the last question...number of kiddos. I said, "bring it on." Surprisingly, Brian agreed. At this point, given the amount of space in our home, we are qualified and willing to accept a sibling group of 2 to 4 children. We can only take one girl, and up to three or four boys, given our bedroom space. 


That leaves a lot of options, and I know we will find the right fit for us. But...I started out talking about why we chose to adopt a sibling group. There are several reasons. One, siblings are categorized as "hard to place", because not as many people are willing or able to take them, and that means that we will most likely be placed must faster. Two, it just seems to make sense for all of us. Having siblings means that these kids get to walk into our home with a built-in support system. Despite a tumultuous past, their siblings have been with them consistently. They get to walk into our house, to an unknown place they are expected to suddenly call "home", with someone they already love and trust. That makes our job, and their transition, easier. I know how much my little brother means to me. I can only imagine what a sibling might mean to someone who has had the rest of their family taken away. So...two? three? four? It may sound like a lot, but it sounds like the kind of chaos I can't wait to welcome!